Ten Rules for Respect for Churches and Pastors

10 RULES FOR RESPECT
(ADAPTED FROM CHARLES CHRISTIAN, CHRISTIANITY TODAY INTERNATIONAL/LEADERSHIP, SUMMER 1999, VOL. XX, NO. 3, P. 55.)

1. If you have a problem with me, come to me (privately).
   
2. If I have a problem with you, I’ll come to you (privately).
   
3. If someone has a problem with me and comes to you, send them to me. (I’ll do the same for you.)
   
4. If someone consistently will not come to me, say, “Let’s go together. I’m sure he will see us about this.” (I’ll do the same for you.)
   
5. Be careful how you interpret me — leave that up to me. On matters that are unclear, don’t feel pressured to interpret my feelings or thoughts. It’s easy to misinterpret intentions.
   
6. I will be careful how I interpret you.
   
7. If it’s confidential, don’t tell. If you or anyone comes to me in confidence, I won’t tell unless (a) the person is going to harm himself/herself, (b) the person is going to physically harm someone else, (c) a child has been physically or sexually abused. I expect the same from you.
   
8. I don’t read unsigned letters or notes or pay attention to anonymous voice mail, and I don’t make them pulpit fodder either.
   
9. I do not manipulate; I will not be manipulated; do not let others manipulate you. Do not let others try to manipulate me through you. I will not preach “at” you on Sunday mornings. I leave conviction to the Holy Spirit, who’s much better at such things anyway.
   
10. When in doubt, just say it. The only dumb questions are the ones that don’t get asked. If you have a concern, pray, and then (if led) speak up. If I can answer it without misrepresenting something or breaking a confidence, I will.