Sermon for Year C, The Third Sunday of
Lent
By The Rev. Torey Lightcap
March 10, 2013
St. Thomas Episcopal Church
“Home”
Ever mess up like this younger
brother?
Yeah, me too. Sometimes, just
really bad.
So bad I broke everything. Far
beyond my own ability to retrieve or to fix.
Boy, can I identify with this
younger son:
Cocky, too big for his britches, ungrateful,
unable to see past his own nose.
Get me out of this two-bit town! Do what you have to do!
… What’s that? No, I don’t care
what you have to sell off to make it happen.
… What? Oh. No, I don’t care
about your long-term situation.
Well. Wait. Okay, I didn’t say that right.
Look, Dad, it’s nothing against you, okay, it’s just …
I need to go live my life, you know?
There’s a litte place in each
of us
That needs to to buck every bridle placed
upon it in a quest to live. Get out and live.
“Faraway places,” “distant
countries,” beckon to us from the other side of the globe.
We have to get out, go
somewhere, get some distance between us and our pasts.
Hit the road like Jack Kerouack
and Allen Ginsberg.
Grace is the last thing on our minds.
“Forgiveness”? For what?
What’d I do? I’m just trying to live
my life.
Some folks leave their house
keys on the counter and are never heard from again.
Some enlist or go backpacking, and
send home a few postcards of fantastic adventures.
Some head off to college and
study hard so they don’t have to think about coming back.
Some find drugs appealing and
suddenly everything has to be liquidated.
It’s all just that trip to
Vegas we seem to somehow require in some way.
But it exacts a price, eh? It has a heavy toll.
“I have wandered far in a land
that is waste,” we say in our rite of individual confession.
The pleasure is momentary; the
realization of what we’ve done is painful.
We wake up suddenly, seeing
we’ve been marked up with what Jimmy Buffet calls
A “permanent reminder of a temporary
feeling.”
In the 1950s, one of my
relatives, my stepfather’s brother, enlisted in the Army
And went off, I believe, to Korea, or at any
rate left his homeland a while.
He was a good man, always was.
He came back with a tattoo.
Of course, I didn’t see that
tattoo for several years after the fact,
'Til it had considerably faded,
But I’ll bet it was glorious and really
meant something the day it was inked on his skin.
One could detect in it old
hints of crimson and dodger blue and slate gray –
A startling prize in its day – quite a thing
to tote back to base for the boys to see.
It was of a field of unfolding
roses, their petals looking straight up at us,
The ones in the middle supporting a banner
On which rested four beautifully crafted
letters: V-E-R-A.
I saw the tattoo and reeled at
the possibilities,
But as to who Vera was or had ever been,
this uncle of mine gravely swore –
And I believed him for a long time, and
still do because why not? –
He swore that he honestly could not recall.
He had been married to Nadine, N-A-D-I-N-E,
Since before he’d ever left home.
For a while, it was probably a
daily dose of humiliation
For him to look into the mirror each morning
And see the name of someone he couldn’t
remember
Applied so richly to his body.
After ten or twenty years with Nadine,
he might go weeks or even months
Without noticing Vera’s name.
And then he’d be shaving, and
catch it in the light just so,
And the story in all its agonizing detail
would collect itself again.
Oh, that’s right. Vera.
No one gets out of a period of
poor judgment without some kind of token:
A tattoo or an ill-fitting wedding ring or a
bill for treatment
Or maybe just a string of relationships
we’d rather put behind us.
The point is, we all rebel in
some way and we all mess up. Sometimes, royally so.
Many of us hit bottom, wake up,
feel stupid, and wonder what our choices are.
Regret, panic, trying to figure
out what to do next,
Wondering how we might get some of it back,
get any of it back.
Making plans for how that could
possibly happen,
But also realizing maybe it’s a longshot … maybe I
burned my bridges too thoroughly.
That, finally, is how life
works. I sure wish it was easier … But there you have it.
Now then.
Have you ever been
self-righteously indignant like this older brother?
Have things ever just not gone
in your favor, or so you thought,
Even when you worked hard and tried to be
upbeat
And said all the right things and did your
best to get ahead?
Have you ever worked your
fingers to the bone and not gotten any recognition for it?
Have you ever watched something
completely unfair happen to you,
When you knew you had no choice in the
matter,
No voice in the process,
And it was just going to happen anyway
whether you wanted it to or not?
Have you ever had the
experience of knowing
That someone was about to go and pour
everything you’d worked
For right down the drain,
And you had no option but to sit and watch
it happen?
Have you ever kicked the dust
in anger and frustration
And said to yourself, You’re darn right I’m mad and I deserve to be!
Church-going folk –
Especially the ones who would come out in a
snowstorm –
Are prone to this sort of older-brother thinking.
Church-going folk are the ones
who keep the trains running on time.
Their shoes are shined like
mirrors;
They know how to do things like balance
budgets and unclog toilets;
They raise their own kids right,
And they help raise everyone else’s kids right in the process as
well.
They bail out their friends
when they get in a tight spot,
And they themselves try to stay out of
trouble.
They care, they recycle, they
read the paper, and they vote in all the small elections.
They make cookies for bake
sales
And they come up with nonoffensive swear words
to say
When they accidentally hit their thumbs
with hammers.
You can set your watch by their
haircuts.
To all outside appearances these elder-brothers are functional and happy.
And this is almost always actually
the case.
For they have been schooled in how
to say a prayer for inner stillness and peace,
And they have taught their children to Count
to Ten.
They have sat at the knees of
Sunday School teachers,
Who have said, without equivocation, that you
must treat others
As you yourself would hope to be treated.
They understand that as Jesus
said, the measure you give is the measure you receive.
But under it all, their secret
sin is a creeping infestation of anger.
And although in the main they
love their lives
And they say in all honesty they wouldn’t
change a thing,
When they see the world going to waste and
burning,
It makes them not so much sad as angry.
They just want to spit.
“Is there no end of all this
poor judgment?”
And … Don’t I have a right to
express my feelings of anger and embarassment?
Don’t I have the right – no, the moral obligation! –
To stand up and say this is wrong?
Don’t I? Don’t I matter, too?
I’ve worked hard and I should have a say; I deserve some kind of reward!
It’s not fair!
But more than anything else, this is just embarassing for all of us. So
now what?
…
Have you ever had a moment like
the father in this story?
Have you ever lost someone who
meant the world to you,
Who you loved more than you loved yourself?
Someone, perhaps, who took and
took and in the end just walked away,
Leaving a massive hole in your heart?
Have you ever walked the same
five feet of floor over and over,
Wondering where your son or daughter had got
off to?
Have you ever had a moment of
terrible drama
When all the anger and frustration and money
and time you lost
Were pushed to the margins
Just so you could wonder and pray and hope
for the return of your precious one?
When all your options for
searching had been exhausted
And your hands were red from wringing and
your clothes were stained with tears
And your feet were weary from prayer
And nothing else mattered in all the world but
just seeing him or her come home?
Knowing that anything else
would have to wait?
And what joy! – what
incomparable joy leaps up in our hearts
When at last the lights turn onto our drive or
the bus stops in front of our house
Or the front porch step creaks at 2, 3, 4
in the morning after a weepy night,
Or after weeks, months, years.
Or the phone rings. Or an email
appears out of the blue.
Everything else fades away.
The world recedes; a spotlight
appears on your beloved one; the room spins a little.
Of course you forgive. Of
course.
Of course there’s a hug and a “Welcome
home”
And an “I love you” and a “We were worried
sick”
And a “We’re not done talking about this
but for now I’m just glad you’re alive.”
Of course you forgive. You
can’t help it!
It’s your own flesh and blood, lost
once, now returned to you.
And frankly it doesn’t matter
whether others understand or what they think. Who cares?
Grace and forgiveness and
reconciliation flow freely. Tears come easy.
There is a God. It’s not you.
There is a deep, deep longing
for return and embrace and Welcome Back;
And nothing else will do.
Come to your senses and rise up
and head for home.
Then, when you’ve been welcomed
back,
Make room for the next refugee, and don’t be
angry that he, too, was pardoned.
Just be glad everyone is coming
home
To the arms of the father.
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